Thursday, July 22, 2010

Freedom isn't free

Family and Friends of HMLA-369, you are receiving this message to tell you that your Marine is okay. The Gunfighter family has suffered the loss of two AH-1W pilots during combat operations in Afghanistan on Thursday, July 22. We ask for your prayers and support to the families of these outstanding Marines. Official notification of the next of kin has been completed. 

Please pray for the families of our Fallen Gunfighters.  

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Always be happy....Never be satisfied

Always be happy....Never be satisfied

My favorite boss/mentor once told me this and I strongly believe in it.   However it sometimes leaves me with a taste with what the F am I doing with my life and always looking for something bigger and better....

I loved being a stay at home mom don't get me wrong but I started to feel like my brain was going to mush and after struggling to find the perfect job and daycare I figured that now that I had found it, it would stifle the urge look for more.  Not so much,  my brain just came flying back and the search continues....more responsibilities....more what?  Who knows?

Late 2009 I had an early pre-deployment breakdown and realized that I am taking this mantra far to literally and I decided I needed to work on my Mind, Body, and Soul (MBS).  What a perfect opportunity to work on me but deployment #2. 

Step 1 MIND
Sooooo I decided to finally take my PHR (Professional in Human Resources) exam.  For anyone not in Human Resources its our equivalent of testing out of your masters or similar.  1. No I won't be getting a raise I work for a nonprofit.  2.  I have been out of school for 6 years but I figured 6 months of studying would be plenty to take this oh man it was rough and I was 99% sure I failed as I clicked that evil END button on the computer based exam but, I PASSED!!!!  And I didn't go crazy with all my bright Mom ideas from my last post.  

Step 2 BODY
I gained 43 pounds when I was pregnant with Alex and lets just say I wasn't "happy" with my body before hand so you can imagine how thrilled I was when the weight that I knew would be gone in 2 months was still hanging around after 4 or 5 months.  So my girlfriends and I started going to a Mom's boot camp that kicked our butts 3 days a week and running... slowly but surely the weight was coming off. After joining the YMCA and going 5 days a week for a few months, I was one HOT MILF...not gonna lie.  I haven't been that happy with my body in a LONG time.  

So what's was the problem?  My hubby came home from Iraq :)  Don't get me wrong I am still a MILF but a little softer all over and I miss my hot bod!  No really he is a bad influence on me.  The man only eats meat and potatoes or fried anything, if I can even get home to cook it.  If not, out we go to Fudruckers or Outback (YUMMY, I am a sucker for food).    Bad news for my gym time because that's when my favorite classes were.  I tried to get motivated to go during the day but there are no good classes in the middle of the day.  If that wasn't bad enough I got a job...don't get me wrong I love my job but NO time to work out now.  When I get home I skip the gym, something about missing Patrick terribly for 7 months.   Yes I do have a beautiful gym at work that is literally 5 inches away from my desk (through the wall, just being dramatic) but I can't work out before work or during lunch.  Why not join the YMCA again and go after work?  Because my poor Peterdog is home all day long and I can't do that to him.  

Since I have plenty of time at night now I promised myself I would get back into shape.  I have the worlds largest collection of work out DVD's: Slim in Six, Thirty day shred, turbo jam, Zumba fitness series etc. etc.   I want a treadmill but ol' Prich gave that the ax, "Jamie you will use it 5 times and then hang cloths on it." Grrrrr.  So, I will be filling my evenings watching trashy TV and doing work out DVD's praying that it will work.  

I really don't have weight to lose (only 3-5 that HAVE to go) mostly just tightening and toning but I have been toying with the idea of getting nutrisystem for a few months to see if that will jump start and help my work out effort?  We shall see....

Step 3 SOUL (This is the tricky one)
I left soul for last on my journey to a better me because I feel like with out the other two I won't be able to fully commit to my MBS mission.  I have the most wonderful life and should not have anything to complain about but hey, Always be happy...never be satisfied right?  There is nothing easy about being a military wife, but I hate using that as an excuse to allow myself to be depressed or sad or unhappy in anyway.  P and I have the most wonderful families to support us.  I have the best friends here in Cali that keep me super busy when I am not at work.  I am more independent than I ever thought I could be.  I am one hell of a mom and my kid is cuter, smarter and sweeter than I deserve.   BUT, it is hard not to think how much easier life would be if P wasn't in the military, if we lived down the street from our families etc.  So Step 3, is to stop looking at other peoples lives with envy and be thankful for this AMAZING life that I don't deserve. Remind myself that Patrick may not be perfect but he is more than perfect for me.  Be honestly and truly happy for people who deserve it, even if I am jealous. Stop judging people  and just live my own life.  BE HAPPY. period.

LIVE every moment...LAUGH every 

day....LOVE beyond words

I'm Back!!!

Its been a while but the first 6 months of 2010 tried to kill me so I have a good excuse right? The not so short version of the craziness is....

Lots of pre-deployment sadness and trips/ know how time flies when you don't want it to so April 27th came way to fast.

Yes I had my study materials since late January and should have used Patrick to help me while I read my books but I didn't so I had to fit in 6 months of studying into 2 months (see next post).  While including the below items to the craziness.

Patrick is a wonderful father/ husband but lets face it the man is a PUSH OVER....Alex whines for 10 seconds he is allowed out of his bed or gets his chocolate milk etc. etc.   Soooo I knew that I could not do any big boy transitions until he was gone because lets face it (sorry babe) it would have taken 3 times as long.  Why is this a big deal you are wondering?  Well any normal person would have looked at the stress in her life and said they can wait until after your test but not me, no I like to torture myself.

What did I do the day after Patrick left?  Changed Alex's bed into a big boy bed....WHAT?  Hello dummy, Alex is the worst at going to bed even in his crib and hardly ever sleeps through the night in his room.  Well no turning back, lots of bribes and toys later we have somewhat mastered the new bed time routine, he now goes to bed without a huge fight most nights.  And to my surprise he sleeps all night!

I knew Mabel was ready to start potty training with Alex and decided that Memorial day weekend would be a great opportunity to start boooo my first three day weekend and be stuck inside?  I think not. There are more details in an earlier post but it sucked too (no studying at all for a full week)....

Now that I passed my test, big boy is sleeping good and using the potty 100% of the time I have lots of time on my hands...what to do, what to do....its been 2 weeks since my test but I still haven't relaxed.  Just waiting on the Cali sunshine to come and some beach days...that should do it!

Monday, June 7, 2010

1 Week Diaper Free

Goooooooooo ALEX!!!!

We are 1 week daytime diaper free with only 3 accidents total(all of which were my fault)!  He hates putting on a diaper for nap and bedtime.  So excited,  Alex loves going potty "just like daddy,"  and he also enjoys going potty in public restrooms.  Gross I know but you gotta let that go for potty training, my options are sit on the potty or pee in your pants.  Saddle up partner thats what wipes are for!  His Potty Block filled up with stickers (on the piano) so we made him a poster.  So DAMN cute I can't stand it!

Attn: MOMMIES - When doing the cold turkey method don't plan any fun activities or outings....STAY HOME and they will potty train in a jiffy!  

Goooooooo Mommy!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

The Meza's

Alex's 2nd Birthday Party

We have been so fortunate to have found Mabel and Tomas to watch Alex while we are at work. Words can not express how much they have helped us/me through the past almost year.  They have helped me with all my significant parenting issues: no routine, no naps, the special cup, deployment blues, late nights at work, potty training.  They treat Alex like family and I couldn't ask for more!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Dear Potty Training....You Suck! But Mabel is always right!

So instead of retyping my insanity of a mindset after this weekend.  I will just cut and paste the portion of the email i sent to Patrick about how awesome our kid is!  No really...He is awesome!  

Lots of plans for the memorial day weekend - Security system install Sat + Sarah's Pool Party Sunday + 2 dad's Pool party Monday = a hard to potty training weekend.  I tried to talk myself up to tell Mabel I wasn't ready to start potty training since I have a HUGE June.  But Friday came and she was ready so i figured ready or not.  Typically for the cold turkey potty training method you stay home inside naked all weekend and just potty potty potty but HELLZ no it was memorial day and I was getting some sun!  So I just told myself that i would give the best effort i could and see how it goes. Plan of action "lets go potty" every 30 mins not ask "do you have to potty" then give a sticker for his potty block (piece of wood with  his name on it(i'll send a picture)).  well, Sat and Sunday were HELL no HELLLLLLLLLLLL.  Alex would scream like the potty was on fire and he hated big boy chonies(undies in Spanish).  20 min in the bathroom i would give up and go play and within 3 min he would pee in his chonies.  10 outfits and chonie changes later.  GRRRRRR.   Stickers are not a good bribe.  I promised Mabel i would try but clearly Alex didn't know what it felt like to have to pee.  By Sunday night at Chrissy's i was almost in tears and i just didn't want to force him anymore.  So the bed time diaper went on at like 7 rather than 8:30.  Alex and i got up at 7 as usual and he said "big chonies no diaper" and i almost cried and said NOOOOOOOO but i promised Mabel I would try. So big chonies it was.   HE DID AWESOME ALL DAY MONDAY!   He only had 1 accident at like 10 am at chrissy's then at 8pm when he was exhausted from swimming all day. EVERYTIME he had to Pee or poop (which is really rare) he told me "oh no gotta potty".  I am sooo proud of him. I can't believe i almost gave up on him, bad mom!  Today was Mabel and Tomas's turn so I was pumped.  Big boy Thomas chonies went on this morning and i packed 6 extra chonies and 4 shorts.  I told them all about the weekend and of course they had heard my story 10 times before with other parents and gave me a pep talk.  Went back at 5pm and guess what!  SAME Thomas chonies!  NO Accidents all day!  We even went to walmart tonight to grocery shop and he said mommy Potty!  WOW WOW WOW i can not believe it!   Patrick your little man is smart and amazing! Thank you for such a blessing!  We did good! Turns out a good high five and flushing the potty himself are the best reward system possible.  

So Stoked...its the simple things in life that mean the most.  I really wish Patrick was here to celebrate, enjoy and stress over these milestones but soon enough.  

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Deployment 2010

Because I like to torture myself I looked back on my posts from the last deployment.  WOW, one thing in life that does not get easier is a deployment.  I have a great group of friends here in Cali, wonderful family support, and the most wonderful husband in the world.

We love you and are proud of you Patrick!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Life of a Military Wife

Lots of moving… Moving… Moving… Moving far from home… Moving two cars, three kids and one dog…all riding with HER of course.

Moving sofas to basements because they won’t go in THIS house

Moving curtains that won’t fit.

Moving jobs and certifications and professional development hours.

Moving away from friends; Moving toward new friends.

Moving her most important luggage: her trunk full of memories.

Often waiting… Waiting… Waiting… Waiting for housing.

Waiting for orders.

Waiting for deployments.

Waiting for phone calls.

Waiting for reunions.

Waiting for letters to arrive.

Waiting for him to come home…For dinner…AGAIN!

They call her ‘Military Dependent’, but she knows better: She is fiercely In-Dependent.

She can balance a check book; Handle the yard work; Fix a noisy toilet; Bury the family pet… She is intimately familiar with drywall anchors and toggle bolts. She can file the taxes; Sell a house; Buy a car; Or set up a move… …..all with ONE Power of Attorney.

She welcomes neighbors that don’t welcome her.

She reinvents her career with every PCS.

Locates a house in the desert, The Arctic, Or the deep south. And learns to call them all ‘home’. She MAKES them all home.

Military Wives are somewhat hasty… They leap into: Decorating, Leadership, Volunteering, Career alternatives, Churches, And friendships. They don’t have 15 years to get to know people. Their roots are short but flexible. They plant annuals for themselves and perennials for those who come after them.

Military Wives quickly learn to value each other: They connect over coffee, Rely on the spouse network, Accept offers of friendship and favors, Record addresses in pencil…

Military Wives have a common bond: The Military Wife has a husband unlike other husbands; his commitment is unique. He doesn’t have a ‘JOB’ He has a ‘MISSION’ that he can’t just decide to quit… He’s on-call for his country 24/7. But for her, he’s the most unreliable guy in town!

His language is foreign: TDY PCS OPR SOS ACC BDU ACU BAR CIB TAD And so, a Military Wife is a translator for her family and his. She is the long- distance link to keep them informed; the glue that holds them together.

A Military Wife has her moments: She wants to wring his neck; Dye his uniform pink; Refuse to move to Siberia; But she pulls herself together. Give her a few days, A travel brochure, A long hot bath, A pledge to the flag, A wedding picture, And she goes.

She packs.

She moves.

She follows.

Why? What for? How come?

You may think it is because she has lost her mind. But actually it is because she has lost her heart. It was stolen from her by a man, Who puts duty first, Who longs to deploy, Who salutes the flag, And whose boots in the doorway remind her that as long as he is her Military Husband, She will remain his military wife.

And would have it no other way.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Its amazing....

Its amazing that four years ago I married the love of my life! March 4, 2006 was spent with some of the best people anyone could ask for, I wish we could relive that awesome night. Thanks Daddy and Mama Rud for forking out the $$$ for one hell of a wedding.

Sunday, February 28, 2010


My Dad let me know today he reads my blog :) So Glad someone does.....LOVE YOU DAD! You too MOM <3

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Whoa Whoa Whoa

Its been a long tough week with the "Alex cry daddy bye bye" business, but to test my own patience I think, i decided it was time to say good bye to the training cup we so lovingly call the "bock." Sunday night was the last "bock" and boy has it been loud and whiny on Plumosa St. Then as I was gearing up for evening 2 of no "bock" Mabel sat me down for the Potty training Pep talk...she wanted to start this weekend ...cold turkey potty training. WOW really? I am all about doing it ASAP but just wasn't mentally ready for it this week. Lucky for me we are going on vacation in 3 weeks and will be in the car a lot so that pushes off potty training until the beginning of April when Daddy will be home! PHEW....its 8:30 thats a reasonable bed time right? Good night!

Bye Bye Bock

Thursday, February 18, 2010

We Begin Again!

Its been a while....not sure if anyone follows this blog but for my own sanity I will continue. Deployment 2010 is just around the corner and Patrick left today for a 3 week work up. Mohave Viper Training...we are not friends....

My biggest concern for our second deployment is going to be Alex.... When Patrick left for Iraq Big Al was only 7 months old, his only real bond was with me and so both he and Patrick were "ok" with the deployment separation. This time not so much....we are talking full on BFF. When Patrick left this morning for training and gave a different "bye" than normal, Alex totally knew that something was up. Every time I have told him no he YELLS for DADDY. I know I will be fine, its a part of this life but boy oh boy this is gonna be tough if the hysterical crying for Daddy lasts long.

Its mean to say but I am wishing away precious time with my son just to have my husband of a military spouse, double edge sword.

Hurry up November 2010!