Saturday, July 10, 2010

Always be happy....Never be satisfied

Always be happy....Never be satisfied

My favorite boss/mentor once told me this and I strongly believe in it.   However it sometimes leaves me with a taste with what the F am I doing with my life and always looking for something bigger and better....

I loved being a stay at home mom don't get me wrong but I started to feel like my brain was going to mush and after struggling to find the perfect job and daycare I figured that now that I had found it, it would stifle the urge look for more.  Not so much,  my brain just came flying back and the search continues....more responsibilities....more what?  Who knows?

Late 2009 I had an early pre-deployment breakdown and realized that I am taking this mantra far to literally and I decided I needed to work on my Mind, Body, and Soul (MBS).  What a perfect opportunity to work on me but deployment #2. 

Step 1 MIND
Sooooo I decided to finally take my PHR (Professional in Human Resources) exam.  For anyone not in Human Resources its our equivalent of testing out of your masters or similar.  1. No I won't be getting a raise I work for a nonprofit.  2.  I have been out of school for 6 years but I figured 6 months of studying would be plenty to take this test.....man oh man it was rough and I was 99% sure I failed as I clicked that evil END button on the computer based exam but, I PASSED!!!!  And I didn't go crazy with all my bright Mom ideas from my last post.  

Step 2 BODY
I gained 43 pounds when I was pregnant with Alex and lets just say I wasn't "happy" with my body before hand so you can imagine how thrilled I was when the weight that I knew would be gone in 2 months was still hanging around after 4 or 5 months.  So my girlfriends and I started going to a Mom's boot camp that kicked our butts 3 days a week and running... slowly but surely the weight was coming off. After joining the YMCA and going 5 days a week for a few months, I was one HOT MILF...not gonna lie.  I haven't been that happy with my body in a LONG time.  

So what's was the problem?  My hubby came home from Iraq :)  Don't get me wrong I am still a MILF but a little softer all over and I miss my hot bod!  No really he is a bad influence on me.  The man only eats meat and potatoes or fried anything, if I can even get home to cook it.  If not, out we go to Fudruckers or Outback (YUMMY, I am a sucker for food).    Bad news for my gym time because that's when my favorite classes were.  I tried to get motivated to go during the day but there are no good classes in the middle of the day.  If that wasn't bad enough I got a job...don't get me wrong I love my job but NO time to work out now.  When I get home I skip the gym, something about missing Patrick terribly for 7 months.   Yes I do have a beautiful gym at work that is literally 5 inches away from my desk (through the wall, just being dramatic) but I can't work out before work or during lunch.  Why not join the YMCA again and go after work?  Because my poor Peterdog is home all day long and I can't do that to him.  

Since I have plenty of time at night now I promised myself I would get back into shape.  I have the worlds largest collection of work out DVD's: Slim in Six, Thirty day shred, turbo jam, Zumba fitness series etc. etc.   I want a treadmill but ol' Prich gave that the ax, "Jamie you will use it 5 times and then hang cloths on it." Grrrrr.  So, I will be filling my evenings watching trashy TV and doing work out DVD's praying that it will work.  

I really don't have weight to lose (only 3-5 that HAVE to go) mostly just tightening and toning but I have been toying with the idea of getting nutrisystem for a few months to see if that will jump start and help my work out effort?  We shall see....

Step 3 SOUL (This is the tricky one)
I left soul for last on my journey to a better me because I feel like with out the other two I won't be able to fully commit to my MBS mission.  I have the most wonderful life and should not have anything to complain about but hey, Always be happy...never be satisfied right?  There is nothing easy about being a military wife, but I hate using that as an excuse to allow myself to be depressed or sad or unhappy in anyway.  P and I have the most wonderful families to support us.  I have the best friends here in Cali that keep me super busy when I am not at work.  I am more independent than I ever thought I could be.  I am one hell of a mom and my kid is cuter, smarter and sweeter than I deserve.   BUT, it is hard not to think how much easier life would be if P wasn't in the military, if we lived down the street from our families etc.  So Step 3, is to stop looking at other peoples lives with envy and be thankful for this AMAZING life that I don't deserve. Remind myself that Patrick may not be perfect but he is more than perfect for me.  Be honestly and truly happy for people who deserve it, even if I am jealous. Stop judging people  and just live my own life.  BE HAPPY. period.


LIVE every moment...LAUGH every 

day....LOVE beyond words

1 comment:

MDubs said...

Loved this post, miss your face <3